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Mark Twain

As everybody knows, Samuel Clemens became Mark Twain. The reason for this is that his original name couldn't possibly contain him in all of his awesomeness. Adopting a pen name helped ease the burden by allowing Mark Twain to shoulder some of the load.

Here are some of the facts about Mark Twain that illustrate why his awesomeness was so large it needed two named to be contained:

(1) Mark Twain once challenged somebody to a duel.

When he was living in Nevada, Mr Twain challenged a rival newspaper editor to a duel. Mr Twain's second exaggerated his prowess with a pistol and the rival backed out of the match. Mr Twain subsequently left town. Now, offering to duel will make it so you can't practice law in Kentucky (FN1), but it certainly doesn't diminish how awesome you are. Quite the opposite - it increases it ten-fold.

(2) Mark Twain once walked 75 miles to accept a job.

I can't find anything on the internet to corroborate this. But, the anecdote is in a published book that my fiancee used for a journalism class in college. He was offered a position at a newspaper and he was such a stand-up guy that he walked 75 miles to tell them he accepted. How many of you would do that nowadays? None. You would all write emails, make phone calls, drive a car there. . . . anything but walk. Score a few more points for Mr Twain.

(3) Mark Twain was funny - funnier than you & everybody else.

Mr Twain is widely regarded as the best humorist of the nineteenth century. You aren't. Mr Twain has a humor prize named after him that's given out by the Kennedy Center annually (FN2). And do you? No, I didn't think so. And if you think present-day comics are funnier than Mr Twain, then ask yourself this: Why are present-day comics given the "Mark Twain" award? Mr Twain never got the "Richard Pryor Award" or the "Steve Martin Award". The reason is obvious, Mr Twain was funnier than they'll ever be.